I read something online, where a woman said she was choosing a cesarean section for no other reason than all the horrible things she had heard about vaginal birth. This tells us a lot about what women are feeling about childbirth. It is also very sad.
This is fear based decision-making. I am not judging or blaming this woman.
Rather, I question the collective emotion of our culture. How have we gotten to this point in human evolution where healthy, pregnant women are choosing major abdominal surgery to have their baby for fear of what might, could, or may happen when giving birth vaginally?
I would compare this to not driving a car on the highway for fear of being in an accident. Anything and everything is always possible.
This fear driven culture has produced a society where:
- women are fearful of giving birth
- women are lacking trust in themselves
- girls are uncomfortable with their bodies
- media promotes unrealistic images of birth
Giving birth is one of the most transformational life events. A woman never forgets the birth of her baby, and what happened leading up to it, and right after. The childbearing year is a time of many mixed emotions, physical changes, and shifts in relationships; including the one with self.
It can be a time of much love and connection, or a time of fear and disconnect.
It is critical for women to connect to their unborn baby. Babies experience everything on a cellular level; all the thoughts and emotions running through the body of their biological host, which may or may not be their mother. Unborn babies also experience all the outside noise and energy.
I can’t imagine what is going on in the mind of a woman so fearful of birth that she chooses a cesarean-section over vaginal birth. That there is even a choice is something I don’t understand. I do understand that cesarean-section saves lives.
Where is the guidance from the doctor or midwife?
Are all the risks of cesarean-section explained?
Do providers encourage vaginal birth?
Is it ethical for a provider to go along with a medical choice that is risky, without counseling?
Is cesarean-section the best choice for some healthy, pregnant women?
It saddens me that our culture and the messages we send to young girls create women who fear birth, women who don’t trust their own bodies’ abilities. Women who are so fearful they would rather get it done and over without actually having the experience of birthing a human being.
This is not anybody’s fault. This is not about guilting or shaming women who are so afraid that fear is the overwhelming emotion driving their choices.
I believe in autonomy of choice in birth. I believe choices made from love produce very different outcomes than those made from fear.
Pregnant people get to listen to positive birth stories. They get to talk to doulas, practice positive mindset through meditation, and listen to upbeat podcasts, and watch beautiful, amazing births on video. Girls and boys get to learn about the birth process early in life to learn about the normal physiology.
Information overload is a real thing these days. Your brain can only handle so much.
What will you allow in? Choose wisely.